Robert's Story: Overcoming 60 Years of Dental Fear
Meet Robert – a man whose fear of the dentist began with a traumatic childhood experience and stayed with him for more than 60 years. As the decades passed, failing teeth and declining oral health gradually affected not only his smile, but also his confidence, social life and overall wellbeing.
Eventually, Robert reached a turning point. With the support of the team at North Street Dental, implant-retained teeth and treatment carried out under IV sedation helped him overcome the fears that had shaped much of his adult life.
Today, Robert enjoys a renewed sense of confidence and freedom. His wife, Caroline, sums up the transformation best: “I've got him back.” His story is a powerful reminder that it's never too late to take the first step towards a healthier smile and a better quality of life.
At the age of 12 an apprehensive boy was taken to the school dentist by his mother – an experience that invoked such trauma it impacted his life for six decades.
With no inclination of what was about to occur, Robert Lilly sat “petrified” in the dentist’s chair. On the cusp of The Sixties, advances were being made in general medicine as radical as the counterculture that defined the decade. But dentistry innovations were slower emerging – much slower.
The mainstay of dental anaesthesia was gas – laughing gas – which had been used since 1844. As the black rubber mask was put to his face, Robert recalls: “Terrified doesn’t do justice . . . it was the first time I’d ever been to the dentist and I came around bleeding profusely.
“Going home on the bus, mum gave me a towel to put over my mouth and I was upset. I was told not to make such a fuss. That was it. The experience really affected me,” he adds.
Petrified
Soon afterwards, a cracked front tooth resulted in a second trip to the dentist. “Again I was petrified, so as soon as he came at me with the gas mask I shot out of the chair like a bolt of lightning. I had no intentions of ever going back.”
Thereafter, his oral health steadily declined, until failing teeth insidiously began to impair his mental well-being.
“I was so ashamed at the condition of my teeth I started pulling back from things, it was just the way it happened. Friends, seeing family, just ordinary things, were not enjoyable anymore.”
Despite a healthy commitment to fitness – Robert would regularly run and go on bike rides – panic attacks and social dislocation became more frequent. His confidence began to slip away.
“I was not laughing anymore – didn’t want to laugh – and I’d have my hand over my mouth as I was speaking. Without anyone telling me I knew my mental health was declining. It’s hard to put into words,” he says.
Hidden blessing
When Covid-19 lockdown struck it came with a hidden blessing. “It was good for me having to wear a mask. By this time my confidence had gone and the mask helped me cope.”
A soulmate for 30 years and married for 15 of them, wife Caroline, takes up the story:
“When we got married he never smiled. There’s not a picture of him smiling. He was too embarrassed to show his teeth. “I was aware something was wrong, but I didn’t know at that time about his childhood dental trauma. It was if he was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. He didn’t confide in me. But the truth is, things started to decline rapidly and he needed help.”
Robert’s lifeline was a radio advert on the Greatest Hits station, a testimonial snippet from North Street Dental.
Sitting sipping iced water at the surgery, he adds: “Conquering the fear of coming for my first appointment was so difficult. My teeth were terrible, but everyone I dealt with here was so patient with me. It was almost a relief talking to Steven [Burchell]. All of the staff were extremely helpful.”
Confidence is up
A scan revealed Robert had advanced gum disease and seriously eroding teeth – a real health risk. Implant retained upper and lower teeth were prescribed which have literally been “life-changing”. Surgery was carried out with full sedation.
“I’ve got him back,” says Caroline. “His confidence is up and he has an amazing zest for life again.” She adds: “We both do volunteer work for a hedgehog rescue charity. Going out and about and meeting complete strangers in this work is not a problem for him now.” “If by doing this interview it helps only one person, it’s worth it. It literally has been transforming.”
Steven Burchell Dip CDT RCS(Eng)DD MCDP, says: “We have at North Street Dental a sensitive policy and procedures approach to patients who have fears and phobias about ‘going to the dentist.’
“We really do get it, that for some, irrational and historically induced fears are emotionally crippling and we understand these people are brave enough to approach us.
“Robert’s story is testament that early life trauma can remain – at best as a nagging irritant, and at its worst, something that can eventually make us shudder at the thought of a dental visit. His story too, highlights how, with the right assurances and explanations, he received the treatment that, in his own words, has been life transforming.
“We are certainly not psychiatrists and neither are we professional counsellors. We are, however, able to guarantee a sympathetic welcome to those who understand Robert’s Journey. We’re very good at listening.”
Have Fear of the Dentist Been Holding You Back?
If dental anxiety, past experiences or failing teeth have stopped you seeking treatment, you're not alone. Our experienced and supportive team can help you move forward at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
